News!

Book Launch Party Time!!

Who likes a party?

Me, me, me…

And what kind of party is the best type of party?

Why a book launch party of course.


WHEN: Thurs 10th Nov, 6:30-8:30pm

WHERE: The Old Court, St Leonards Rd, Windsor SL4 3BL

ENTRY IS FREE. ALL WELCOME


Yes, Windsor Christmas Tales is having it’s official launch on Thurs 10th November from 6:30pm at The Old Court. Come along, it’s free entry. All ages welcome. Meet the authors, get your signed copies, enjoy the bar and refreshments.

Kick off your Christmas in style! #WindsorChristmasTales22

Did we mention it’s a PARTY… Thursday is the new Friday after all.

We look forward to seeing you!

Writing tasks

From Hell…And Back

Who, indeed, has been resurrected from Hell in this short piece by Kanthé. Oh yes, we’re getting Halloween ready here. Mwah-ha-haaaa. Enjoy…


I walk the streets of my old hunting ground and I can barely recognise the place. There are towering buildings and odd motorised vehicles everywhere. A constant hustle and bustle around me. Strange exotic smells and people of every discernible hue. Signs and lights and noise everywhere.

I feel lost.

There are a group of people standing on a street corner and they are looking around as lost and bewildered as me. Some are looking through flat little thin wafers in single different colours and clicking away. Sometimes with little lights flashing away. Some are talking to others with these…devices. I am confused.

I approach them and they all look and stare at me. I stare at them. There’s a plump girl with pink hair and black lip-stick; wearing hardly anything at all. The boy next to her is wearing a torn vest, ripped trousers and a shaved head. Looking like a skinny bag of bones. No one looks at them – but they are pointing and whispering about me. As if I’m the man out of time and place. I am affronted by their rudeness.

I am wearing my best top hat…long dark cloak and white gloves. Like I’ve just come from the Opera House in Covent Garden. I even popped into Mitre Square – I recognised the area where it happened; and I have my medical bag with me – just in case…but there is no cover, no shelter anymore. My Work remains…undone.

There is a fat old man in the centre of the crowd pontificating, and they are only half-listening to him. He suddenly mentions my name…my nickname. I turn around astounded. Someone sniggers and calls me Leather Apron. Idiot men and a gaggle of Strumpets and Whores making fun of me! Me??!!

I am incensed. A red mist descends. I’m not the kind of man who takes criticism well. I know the Queen, you know – treated her many times. I’ve rubbed shoulders with the hoi polloi too. Everyone makes grand claims about my identity but they are all clueless. Some even say that I gave Birth to the 20th Century. But look at how your degenerate modern life has turned out. A fresh reign of blood needs to come to wash away the flotsam and jetsam off the street and into the gutters where it belongs.

Writing tasks

Camera Ready 3, 2, 1 Live

We’ve got a real treat for you here. Mike Moss embraced the September writing challenge bringing back a historical figure and placing them in today’s world. The only criteria given was that they had to have been dead for more than 50 years. Can you guess who’s been brought back to life in this short piece?

‘Well, tonight we have a real treat for you, and he needs no introduction. He’s sitting here next to me. Welcome, John.’

‘Great to be back, my dear Norton.’

‘Back indeed, especially as you died so young. What was it, tuberculosis?’

‘Yes, and I was only 25. Curable now, I’m told.’

‘So true, and I hear you’re planning to sue the descendants of your mother’s executors?’

‘I was deuced, by God. You might think I’m milking the pigeon but it was total incompetence or downright theft. They withheld my inheritance from both my grandmother and mother. A princely sum of £2,800. Worth almost £300,000 today. That would buy a lot of coal to keep one warm in winter.’

‘It’s all gas these days, and you’re right. But my advice is to buy a jumper.’

‘A what?’

‘It’s a sort of wooly coat. And will you go back to live in Hampstead.’

‘Yes, my old house is still there and I’m currently negotiating with the team who run it as a museum. I was quite overcome when I found out. A museum, to me. Perhaps I should write an ode. Anyway, they seem very keen to have me move in, but I have insisted I must have six hours quiet a day, to write you understand. I can’t have well-wishers traipsing about when I’m musing.’

‘Quite right. And have you started writing again?’

‘Oh yes, I need the money. My sponsors have all passed away so I’m on the look out for an agent.’

‘Well, I expect the phones will be buzzing before the show ends and…’

‘The what?’

‘Phones, you’ll soon get the hang of them. But I guess what your many admirers really want to know is, what are you writing now and will you be travelling round the country, a one man show, maybe?’

‘A show’s a capital idea. I’ll look into that. As to writing, I’ve started a new ode, Ode to the Millenium.’

‘Fantastic. So, there you have it, folks. John’s back, writing and coming to a town near you. That’s all we have time for tonight. Bye.’

Photo by John-Mark Smith

Writing tasks

Double Image in Dallas by Kanthé

Warning! This contains references to the final violent moments of John F Kennedy’s life.

A man gets off a plane in November with his wife all dressed in pink and he is called a Traitor. There are black bordered adverts in the local press where 7 reasons are given for why he is wanted for Treason. On a bright Autumn day it’s this  black cloud of dissent that forever lingers  on the horizon. And in the mind.

“Mr President, you can’t say that Dallas doesn’t love you!” says the wife of the Texas Governor. Who could argue with such a sentiment? Indeed, to calm troubled waters, was the reason that he was there. To be dead – in the heart of Texas – was how he ended up.

The first bullet hits Kennedy in the throat. The second blows his brains out.

The vast majority of Dallas residents, and indeed the wider world are shocked and appalled by witnessing the senseless slaughter of a World leader. A handsome man – a charismatic man; a husband and a father – cut down in his prime. A man who faced down the might of the Soviet Union when the Earth tetered on the brink of World War 3 and Nuclear Armageddon.

The vast majority of people are dazed and confused. A whole nation undergoes a collective trauma. Everyone can remember where they were when they first heard the news. A thousand conspiracy theories are born.

The people on the fringes of Dallas society are not dazed or confused. They are sure about their intent. They whoop and holler and discharge guns in the air. They drink to his passing. Their rejoinder: ‘Camelot in Smithereens.’

To them – Kennedy is a Pinko. A Liberal. A Fornicator; An Adulterer. A Papal Stooge. Sent to bring down a great nation. To take away their guns. These cries are still heard today 59 years later . As Kennedy himself once said about Dallas:  Welcome to Nut Country.

There is a Double Image in Dallas. It’s outward face and it’s internal psyche. There are multiple Lee Harvey Oswald’s moving around Dallas. Is he a Communist? A Marxist? A Right Wing Nut? He loves Fidel Castro but hangs around with known Fascists. He is truly a riddle wrapped in a mystery encased in an enigma.

Dallas is the whole world in a microcosm. Big…Bold…Brash. Where the Truth gets splintered by a bullet. Where one man lost his life to the insecurity felt by others.

Writing tasks

A Walk in the Park, by Robyn Kayes

My name is Teddy, and I’m a Labradoodle. Today, my mum and I had a lovely time on our walk. It was warm, and sometimes there was a bit of rain, which I enjoyed as it cooled me down a bit. I shook myself to clear away the water, and I laughed to myself to see my mum’s face. Then I met two friends and we ran about the park, chasing each other. It was great fun. My mum spoke to the humans that belonged to my new friends. Then she gave me some treats and some water. On the way home, the cat from next door ran in front of us and I started to bark at it because it always hisses at me, and I don’t like that. But it ran away very quickly and finally we got home. My mum gave me a bath and then dried me with a towel. I lay down in my basket in front of the fire and had a lovely sleep. When I woke up, I had my food and some water, and then went out to the garden, for a little run around the rose bushes. When I came back inside, my mum was talking to someone on her ‘fone-thingy’.

“Oh mum, I had a dreadful time on my walk today. The weather was miserable, it was so cloudy and then it started to rain, and I got wet. Teddy kept running away, and splashed into some puddles and got all muddy, and then when he came back to me, he shook himself, so all the mud landed up on me. And you’ll never guess who I bumped into with all that mud all over me! It could only be my ex and his new girlfriend, with their two big Labradors who chased Teddy all over and he got even more muddy. So eventually we came home, and I had to give him a bath, and got wet again in the process. I had to light a fire because the heating wasn’t working, so I had to call the plumber, but he can only come tomorrow afternoon. I couldn’t have a shower, but I managed to heat up some water so that I could have a wash. Then I made some soup, which helped. Now I just want to forget that this day ever happened.”

News!

Writing for a Good Cause

Mike Moss (Windsor Writer’s Group secretary) has produced a series of books, based on true events, about Izzie the dog: a little terrier, big in personality. Born in Dublin, lost as a puppy, she survives as a stray with the help from the new friends she meets along the way, and from Benni the streetwise dog. Her adventures include life in Dublin, how she comes to be chosen as a Hearing Dog and her travels to England for training.

Mike decided to donate royalties from the book to Hearing Dogs for Deaf People. FACT: It costs £25,000 to train and maintain a Hearing Dog!

You can buy Mike’s humorous, hopeful and happy book ‘A Small Dog Story’ from Amazon. You can also donate to the Hearing Dogs for Deaf People charity directly.

Recently, Mike got to entertain the children of Windsor with readings from his book plus ‘Izzie’s Journey’ games and he even taught children how to sign their name in BSL. Well done Mike! More people know about your fabulous books and the wonderful charity now.

Uncategorized

Technology – You’re a Pain…

Always ruining things. Here’s what we came up with when asked to write about when technology got in the way…


Ollie Looked at the Ring – by Mike Moss

Ollie looked at the ring one more time before he called. He had wanted to do it in person but had been called away on urgent business. Still, a proposal is a proposal. Anyway, not everyone proposes from a private jet flying at 30,000 feet. He checked the wifi, and pressed the Facetime call button. Emily’s face lit up the screen and his day.

‘Hi, Em, I have something important to say so let me say it. We’ve been going out for two years now, and I’ve had enough of just being girlfriend and boyfriend.’ Ollie snapped open the ring case. The overnight lights glinted in the huge diamond. ‘Will you marry me?’

Em is clearly shocked, thought Ollie. She hasn’t moved.

‘Em? Blast, the screen’s frozen.’ Ollie looked at the wifi signal. Gone. He sat back and wondered how much of that she had heard. He would call back in a few minutes.

Emily’s mother heard Emily sobbing in her bedroom.

‘Emily, are you alright? Can I come in?’ She pushed the door open to see Emily stretched out on her bed, crying.

‘What’s the matter, darling?’

Between sobs, Emily managed to explain. ‘Ollie called me. He said,’ sob. ‘That we’ve been going out for two years now, and he’s had enough,’ sob, sob, ‘and then he cut me off.’ Howl.


Avec Plaisir by Phil Appleton

The sky was a cloudless azure, with the slapping of the coastal waters on the car ferry sides the loudest sound to interfere with Michael’s gaze at Sonja’s profile. She looked magnificent as she stared out to the French port of St Malo with the docking procedure under way, dark brown hair topping her flawless, olive skin tone with the figure of a gymnast settled comfortably under a light green summer dress.

When he had been introduced to her, Michael knew he could find no better companion. The agency had done its job seamlessly from initial enquiry to delivery. From the first smile that Sonja had shone towards him to the quiet conversations in his English country home, the affection, respect and love between them had grown until he was ready to propose. 

They would take separate first class cabins on the boat, to maintain and save their passion for their first night together. They had breakfasted alone, he nervous that all his meticulous planning would come to nothing, while she remained completely trusting and untroubled.

And so it came to pass, that Michael’s dream of romance was fulfilled in their journey together, through the roads of rural France to his family’s retreat deep in the Brittany countryside. Everything was set: dinner collected from the local restaurant, the sun setting over the garden pond, and fresh sheets on the bed.

It only needed for Sonja to take her final charge for the night before Michael would hold her in his arms for the first time and consummate his plan of perfection. Which was when he realised that he hadn’t brought an adapter for the French two-pin plugs.


SLAYED – A Dreamscape Story by Kanthé

In my dream, I am riding a kid’s pushbike with a flat front tyre and very narrow handlebars. I am making my way from my In-laws place in Wolverhampton to Telford – a distance of barely 17 miles on a disabled bike. For something very important. I think this is what they call an anxiety dream.

On the corner of Lea Road and Retreat Street, I am distracted by two guys busking, as if for penny change. It’s Noddy Holder and Dave Hill – the two most recognisable members of 70’s glam rock band SLADE. A local band that has had 6 UK Number 1s including the perennial Merry Xmas Everybody and has been named the most successful band of the seventies. Why these wealthy individuals would feel the need to busk is governed by dream logic – as is the fact that they look exactly the same as they did 50 years ago.

I think: WOW – Slade busking in Wolves – when am I ever gonna see that again! Noddy in his mirrored Top Hat; Dave with his still ridiculous fringe and rabbit teeth. I whip out my white I-phone to capture this remarkable moment. But a smartphone is not like a camera where you point and click. With a phone – you need to put in the access code. I try to remember the code, try to find the right screen with the right symbol as my phone blips and bleeps at my feeble attempts. Laughing at me.

Noddy and Dave are already packing up due to them having an audience of just me. I try to keep them talking while my fingers press all the available keys to activate the camera function. All to no avail.

I tell them I’m such a fan. They ask me which is my favourite Slade song. None springs to mind. They give me a dirty Black Country look and disappear. I hate the technology that has failed me. I feel SLAYED…by Slade.


Say no to 5G by Vivien Eden

“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes. As soon as I get there, mic me up and I’ll do the sound check. What time are the delegates arriving?”

“They’re not supposed to be here until nine-thirty, but I’ve seen some in the foyer already. Do you think we’ll have time for one quick run through of the fintech slides?”

“Not a chance. I’m going to have to wing it. What the…?!” Matt slammed on his brake with both feet. A dreadful noise rang in his ears. The car skidded and eventually stopped, leaving his forehead a mere inch from the windscreen. Time hovered. He slammed unceremoniously back into his seat. The line went dead.

“Shit, shit!” Matt clutched his heaving chest with his right hand. His heartbeat was accelerating to a level he didn’t think possible – as if it had decided to live somewhere else and was moving out by brutally bashing its way out through his ribcage.  

A dreamlike sensation descended, yet his instincts knew that if ever there was a time… He switched the hazard warning lights on. A clicking noise played on repeat. Somewhere he could hear cheering.

The driver from the vehicle behind was knocking on the window.

“Oh my God! Are you OK?!”

Matt took in the sight of the severed mobile mast lying across the road before him. The voices approached:

Say no to 5G! Say no to 5G!


On The Beach by Robyn Kayes

Sunny day, blue sky, lying on the beach under an umbrella, surf-board ready for the waves. Early in the morning, it is peaceful and quiet; no one around except for a couple of runners. I continue reading my book, deep in another world. 

“Answer the phone, damn it!” 

I jerk my head up, out of the story as I hear the yelling from someone further down the beach.

“Oops! Sorry!” I shout, as my phone rings on. Hastily, I grab it, fumbling to silence the irritation.


Photo by Alex Knight

Creative Inspiration

An Octopus and Even Stranger Things have been Sighted in Windsor Great Park

Where to get that nugget of inspiration from? That crumb of brilliance that prompts an outpouring of ideas, adventures, emotions and characters. If in doubt, go for a walk. It’s an age old method that resulted in great success for Sue Blitz when she turned her walk into Battleground Great Park: a short story which will have you pondering what’s really going on with the trees.

Dead trees are selectively left within Windsor Great Park to provide habitats for woodlice, spiders, beetles, butterflies, ladybirds and other insects. Over the course of summer 2020, Sue caught some of these striking wooden masterpieces on camera. Not only are these fallen trees flourishing into wildlife communities, they also provided a flourish of characters for Sue’s story.

Do you see what Sue saw in the trees?

How could anyone fail to see the giant octopus camouflaged as this fallen tree? Given his size he must have been around for some time. What’s he doing there? What’s he thinking?
This snarling crocodile is waiting, just waiting… but for what? Can he move? What’s his prey of choice here in Windsor?
This misaligned eyes, the open mouth as if uttering a blood-curdling cry. This ancient tree has been possessed by an ogre… or was the ogre poseessed by the tree?

Battleground Great park features in Windsor Christmas Tales – a collection of short stories by Windsor Writers Group authors. Official launch is in November 2022.

Writing tasks

Having a Meal. What does it reveal?

Quite a lot it seems. With only sparce dialogue in places, these 200 word compositions give us beautiful little illustrations of hidden character traits that only come out at the table. What’s on the menu? Sexual chemistry, tension, the outright disgusting… Pick up your knife and fork and get ready to tuck in.


Fork and Knife By Robyn Kayes

Mother used to always say to me, “Eat your food with a fork and knife.”

“And what about dessert?”

“Use a spoon, with a fork to assist.”

“What about the boys? Why don’t they eat like that? Why do I have to do things differently?”

“Because you’re a young lady, and you should always do things as a lady would.”

“Why can’t I eat chicken like they do, it looks as though it tastes better when you pick up the pieces and eat it off the bones.”

A variation of this conversation occurred nearly every dinner time as I argued my way through the meal, until one day in the school holidays, my older brother decided that we would take a walk to the fish and chips shop on the High Street. He bought a packet of hot chips, doused in salt and vinegar. “Eat that with your fingers and see how good it tastes! But don’t tell Mother. Next time, just pick up the chicken and eat it, and see what she says.”


Louis – Italian American Restaurant © Kanthé 2022

Mikey was the youngest of the family. He had been invited out for a meal by two men he barely knew. He really was not in the mood. He had bruises on his face like fallen apples…like a jaundiced liver but he went along. He had to.

They took him to Louis – an Italian American restaurant out in The Bronx; tucked under an overpass. Dimly lit…sparse; the perfect place. The older man, McCluskey ordered veal – apparently it was the best in the city. He was tall and floury and broken like a breadstick. The other guy, Sollozo prattled on in Italian…his face red and florid – the shade of prime beef gone bad.

Mikey was olive skinned and short. With shiny black hair the colour of Lambrusco grapes. His eyes – big and large and watery like poached eggs. Mikey was shit scared but hoped it didn’t show. He played with his food…finger food. His fingers long and white like cheap sausages. Greasy sweat on his upper lip. His collar too tight. The young man felt like a suckling pig in this get up.

He got up suddenly. He told them he needed the toilet as another train rumbled in the overpass.

Sollozo was still talking like he was still someone worth considering when Mikey came back in. He shot Sollozo in the head at point-blank range. The blood flew up like a mist of ragu sauce. McCluskey – he shot in the throat first and then the head…making sure he never got to finish the best veal in New York City.

Mikey dropped the gun and walked out.


Show and Tell by Valerie Benham

Of course, I will get you anything you like he said, turning towards the waiter behind the large bar area.   Eventually the cappuccino and my companion’s double ice cream arrived.   At this point he only had eyes for the ice cream, devouring the pastel shades of this artistic concoction of sensual pleasure, or so he obviously thought.   His spoon plunged into the mountains of pure cholesterol, making light work of the glacial mounds. He started to speak to me revealing a cream coated tongue but completely unaware of the turn off this created in me. He shot his tongue out of the lips, curling it up with great pleasure whilst somehow continuing to talk. I winced in my seat turning slightly away from his gaze. I was experiencing a deep revulsion of this otherwise pleasant man. The odds had been stacked against him from the outset, lived an hour’s drive away, not sure I would gel with an ex-golf professional and so on. My mum came over to stay nine months ago and is still at my place he stated happily. She can have anything she wants; I buy her the best quality of salmon and of course, ice-cream.  


Tina has invited Emily for dinner by Mike Moss

‘So, the other two cancelled, you say?’ asked Emily

‘Yes, quite late. Annoying late, in fact, but what can you do? Please, sit. It’s nearly ready.’

Two floral place mats, with matching serviettes and coasters lay on the table and the cutlery was set out with precision.  Emily chose the nearest chair. It was an old garden chair; metal, chipped green paint, floral cushion, a little out of place alongside the other three assorted chairs that surrounded the round table.

‘Wine? It’s red,’ Tina added, unnecessarily.

‘Please,’ replied Emily, noting the label. Expensive. ‘Something smells good.’

‘My grandma’s recipe. She was Italian, you know.’

‘No, I didn’t.’

‘Oh, yes, that’s where my fiery side comes from, so my father would say. My mother said it was my ginger hair.’ A buzzer buzzed. ‘It’s ready. Hang on.’ She disappeared into the small kitchen, appearing a minute later with two platefuls of spaghetti Bolognese and green beans. She placed one on Emily’s mat and sat down with the other.

‘Looks great,’ smiled Emily.

‘Bon appetit.’ Tina raised her glass. ‘Here’s to friendship.’

Emily drank and Tina refilled her glass. They ate quietly, talking about the café. Emily noticed that Tina carefully arranged each mouthful, a mix of spaghetti, Bolognese and vegetable. Now that Tina was sitting down, it was impossible to not to notice her low cut T-shirt. Tina leant over to refill Emily’s glass. She’s not wearing a bra, thought Emily. Her gaze moved up. Tina’s grey, doe like eyes were fixed on hers, smiling, hoping.

Emily’s suspicious mind wondered if the other two guests had really been invited.


Skinny White Jeans by Vivien Eden

“Sorry, is my separate dressing on its way?”

“I’ll be back with it in two ticks.” The flustered waitress bolted back into the kitchen.

“That’s some mega-bowl you’ve got there Karen. What’s in it?”

Karen’s neck reddened slightly.

“Just a superfood salad. Everywhere has oversized the crockery these days. So annoying!” She glanced at Sadie’s hamburger and triple cooked chips and looked away quickly.

“You are good. No wonder you look the way you do. Excuse me waitress, any chance of some ketchup? Help yourself to a chip Karen.”

“Maybe in a minute. Thank you.”

Karen removed her napkin from the table, slowly unfolded it and carefully placed it on her lap on top of her skinny white jeans. Picking up her knife and fork, she cut half a cherry tomato into quarters. She eased the slither of red onto her fork and went fishing in her bowl for something else to join it. The fork emerged with two additional dark-green lentils and a shred of curly lettuce.

The salad dressing appeared in a tiny earthenware jug. Karen picked it up observing the dark vinegar with a layer of oil settled on top. She looked at her watch, hesitated a moment, then put it down.


Breakfast at the High Street Cafe by Sue Blitz

Steve used the fork in his fist to stab at the piece of fried egg he had hacked off. He took the mouthful and as he chewed vigorously, he aimed the liberated fork at Martin and continued his conversation.

Meanwhile Martin had been sawing away at some flaccid bacon. His knife not getting the best purchase on the meat as it was being held more like pencil than a cutting tool. But why hadn’t he noticed that his fork was not doing its job either? He really wasn’t pinioning the meat down firmly enough for a proper assault, the fork tines were pointing upwards with a lame grip on the stubborn pale pink pork.

Martin looked up and nodded at Steve, looked down again and realised that he had been using the butter knife from his side plate, having inadvertingly exchanged it with the more suitable steak knife, now taunting him from the table’s edge.

Then Steve’s fork went into the attack again. Lunging in the air, describing circles and semi-circles, splashing fat, spittle and egg yolk in its wake.

Martin put down his knife and fork and stared at Steve. His cutlery semaphoring the twenty-past-four position, a signal at odds with the crunched-up paper serviette plonked onto the middle of his plate.